Happy Mother's Day To My GREAT MOM!

A picture of my mom's grave that i took yesterday, Sunday May 10 mother's day, when we visited her in cemetery to offer some prayers and greeted her. It's been almost 16 years now since she was gone..




Last saturday 2pm in the afternoon, i took a look at my photo album to reminisce sweet memories and just out of boredom. But when my eyes made a glimpse on this one particular photo, my eyes were glued on it looking every angle of the face of the woman who brought me here in the world. And i remembered that it's mother's day the next day, a line of "if only's" flew around inside my head and a teary eye, if only she's here, i'll greet her a happy mother's day personally and hug her tightly as if there's no tomorrow. I'll kiss her tenderly to let her feel that i'm very fortunate and grateful that she is my mom. If only she's still alive, she would see me growing up that her little girl who is clumsy and always crying has now grown up to a young lady. While memories of her lingered on my mind, i can't help not to cry 'cause i really miss her a lot. Who won't by the way if you are on my place?

I think i was 4 or 5 yrs old in the photo when they took it. My mom died because of a traitor cancer at the cervix she got when i was born and ligate her by a midwife in our home, not in the hospital. It was a sensitive operation and it needs to be done in the hospital. And after a few months if i'm not mistaken, she begun to drew out blood continuously and it never stopped. She didn't tell to anyone of us even to my father that she was feeling something wrong inside her because she manages our RTW business at that time, she didn't even took a rest to feel better. When the time that her blood flow got worst, she finally told us that she's badly sick.
My father and other siblings hurriedly brought her to the hospital to checked her up, and there they was told that my mom had a cervical cancer. I didn't know exactly what happened but i'm sure they melted down like a melting candle upon hearing the tragic news. I remember there were too many hospitals that we've been go through the whole operation because no hospital in Angeles City could treated her cancer, and at that time there were no vaccines to treat cervical cancer, unlike now we are fortunate because hospitals already have vaccines to protect women from such disease. We even went to Manaoag in Pangasinan to pray in the miraculous church to get my mom healed.

Maybe because of their religion which was "espiritista", more likely to christians to have a big faith in miracles. Our relatives believed that she will be healed through miracles that they didn't allowed my father to sent my mom to other hospital. They just confined her inside their temple. I do also believe in miracles of course, but maybe if my mom could've been only transferred to other hospital earlier, she's still alive now. But no, while she stayed inside the temple without any support from medicines, machines or any, it just got worse. I don't blame them with what happened to my mom but atleast there's probably a chance of survival.

On August 24, 1993 just a day before my 6th birthday, at the tender age of 39 my mom passed away...
Imagine how painful was that? Perhaps at my very young age, i didn't care much than today. But i still knew that when i saw the men from the funeral parlor was about to take her blood, heart, intestines and other organ inside her body out, i screamed and cried like a wild beast ready to attack anyone who wished to touch my mom's body. Sounds exaggerated but it was true, i clearly remember that part. And the men did succeed from their operation, my mom's body was already in the coffin and the funeral took place inside the temple. After that day, i told my older cousin and her husband that i want to lay inside the coffin too, beside my mom. And she asked why, i just said that i want to go with my mom wherever she will go, and they only laughed believing i just uttered that because i was just 6 yrs. old and didn't really know what's happening around me. And on August 28, we finally brought her to the cemetery and while the pastor was praying, i heard the people around me including my family crying helplessly. I was crying too but i didn't feel i'm crying. I watched my family and relatives crying as if it's a show to me, i really didn't know then that it would be the last time that we could see my mom and never get to see again in our lives. It's just only now that i feel the real hurt and pain of losing a mother. I have this one memory of her when she gave me a piano toy on my birthday, i cherished that toy and was always playing with it at that time. And when it was time to go to school, she would spanked me at my butt because i was too lazy to go and didn't want to see my terror teacher. Now i regretted that day because i gave her a hard time, if i had only knew that she would left us so early, i should have followed her always. I should have been more diligent so that she could be proud of me even in a short time.

It's been almost 16 years now since she was gone..
16 years of life without a love from a mother..
16 years without a mother support..
16 years of christmas and new years without her..
16 years of birthdays and anniversaries celebrated without her..
16 years of happiness, sadness and sickness without her..
16 years and more to come living life without her..

And now, I truly understand why God has taken her away from us too early.. I accepted it already after 16 years but there's still pain whenever i would recall her memories. Yeah! Memories, that's all what i got now and i'm proud that i have Memories to a Very Wonderful Mom..

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL MOTHERS!!!

Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages:Learn the Languanges

hello everyone! this is my second time to write in here, and i recently watched a talk show on the television about the FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES. Some of you knew about these,(but i didn't know about them) and due to my curiosity, I searched it in the net and copied it. It has a book which was written by Dr. Gary Chapman. He is an author, a speaker and a marriage counselor. Here are the meanings of each of the languages.

1. Words of Affirmation
Mark Twain once said “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” Verbal appreciation speaks powerfully to persons whose primary Love Language is “Words of Affirmation.” Simple statements, such as, “You look great in that suit,” or “You must be the best baker in the world! I love your oatmeal cookies,” are sometimes all a person needs to hear to feel loved.

Aside from verbal compliments, another way to communicate through “Words of Affirmation” is to offer encouragement. Here are some examples: reinforcing a difficult decision; calling attention to progress made on a current project; acknowledging a person’s unique perspective on an important topic. If a loved one listens for “Words of Affirmation,” offering encouragement will help him or her to overcome insecurities and develop greater confidence.

2. Quality Time
Quality time is more than mere proximity. It’s about focusing all your energy on your mate. A husband watching sports while talking to his wife is NOT quality time. Unless all of your attention is focused on your mate, even an intimate dinner for two can come and go without a minute of quality time being shared.

Quality conversation is very important in a healthy relationship. It involves sharing experiences, thoughts, feelings and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context. A good mate will not only listen, but offer advice and respond to assure their mate they are truly listening. Many mates don’t expect you to solve their problems. They need a sympathetic listener.

An important aspect of quality conversation is self-revelation. In order for you to communicate with your mate, you must also be in tune with your inner emotions. It is only when you understand your emotions and inner feelings will you then be able to share quality conversation, and quality time with your mate.

Quality activities are a very important part of quality time. Many mates feel most loved when they spend physical time together, doing activities that they love to do. Spending time together will bring a couple closer, and, in the years to come, will fill up a memory bank that you can reminisce about in the future.
Whether it’s sitting on the couch and having a brief conversation or playing together in a tennis league, quality time is a love language that is shared by many. Setting aside focused time with your mate will ensure a happy marriage.

3. Receiving Gifts
Some mates respond well to visual symbols of love. If you speak this love language, you are more likely to treasure any gift as an expression of love and devotion. People who speak this love language often feel that a lack of gifts represents a lack of love from their mate. Luckily, this love language is one of the easiest to learn.

If you want to become an effective gift giver, many mates will have to learn to change their attitude about money. If you are naturally a spender, you will have no trouble buying gifts for your mate. However, a person who is used to investing and saving their money may have a tough time adjusting to the concept of spending money as an expression of love. These people must understand that you are investing the money not in gifts, but in deepening your relationship with your mate.

The gift of self is an important symbol of love. Sometimes all your mate desires is for someone to be there for them, going through the same trials and experiencing the same things. Your body can become a very powerful physical symbol of love.

These gifts need not to come every day, or even every week. They don’t even need to cost a lot of money. Free, frequent, expensive, or rare, if your mate relates to the language of receiving gifts, any visible sign of your love will leave them feeling happy and secure in your relationship.

4. Acts of Service
Sometimes simple chores around the house can be an undeniable expression of love. Even simple things like laundry and taking out the trash require some form of planning, time, effort, and energy. Just as Jesus demonstrated when he washed the feet of his disciples, doing humble chores can be a very powerful expression of love and devotion to your mate.

Very often, both pairs in a couple will speak to the Acts of Service Language. However, it is very important to understand what acts of service your mate most appreciates. Even though couples are helping each other around the house, couples will still fight because the are unknowingly communicating with each other in two different dialects. For example, a wife may spend her day washing the cars and walking the dog, but if her husband feels that laundry and dishes are a superior necessity, he may feel unloved, despite the fact that his wife did many other chores throughout the day. It is important to learn your mate’s dialect and work hard to understand what acts of service will show your love.

It is important to do these acts of service out of love and not obligation. A mate who does chores and helps out around the house out of guilt or fear will inevitably not be speaking a language of love, but a language of resentment. It’s important to perform these acts out of the kindness of your heart.

Demonstrating the acts of service can mean stepping out of the stereotypes. Acts of service require both mates to humble themselves into doing some chores and services that aren’t usually expected from their gender. However, these little sacrifices will mean the world to your mate, and will ensure a happy relationship.

5.Physical Touch
Many mates feel the most loved when they receive physical contact from their partner. For a mate who speaks this love language loudly, physical touch can make or break the relationship.

Sexual intercourse makes many mates feel secure and loved in a marriage. However, it is only one dialect of physical touch. Many parts of the body are extremely sensitive to stimulation. It is important to discover how your partner not only physically responds but also psychologically responds to these touches.

It is important to learn how your mate speaks the physical touch language. Some touches are irritating and uncomfortable for your mate. Take the time to learn the touches your mate likes. They can be big acts, such as back massages or lovemaking, or little acts such as touches on the cheek or a hand on the shoulder. It’s important to learn how your mate responds to touch. That is how you will make the most of this love language.

All marriages will experience crisis. In these cases, physical touch is very important. In a crisis situation, a hug can communicate an immense amount of love for that person. A person whose primary love language is physical touch would much rather have you hold them and be silent than offer any advice.

It is important to remember that this love language is different for everyone. What type of touch makes you feel secure is not necessarily what will make your partner happy. It is important to learn each other’s dialects. That way you can make the most of your hugging, kissing, and other physical contacts.

a new start ^^

so this is my very first time to create a blog here..^_^

welcome to me!!! hehehe..
first and foremost, i'm writing this one right now because i really don't know what to say at this time.
i entitled it "a new start" for obvious reason =)..
for now, don't expect me to write a long story of what happened to me today because i'm really speechless..

but let me say something about the title, on my own opinion.
"a new start", when we hear or read that phrase/sentence we're thinking about a new life.
a new life for a newborn baby,
a new life for a person who wants to change his/her bad habits,
a new life for a pregnant woman because she knew there's a life in her womb,
a new life for a beggar because you gave him a piece of bread,
a new life for a cat because you help it on being stuck on the top of a tree
(that's funny but it can be true..)
there's so many definitions about that phrase/sentence and you are all welcome to give one..

for me, a new life means sleeping at night and in the morning, you are very happy waking up because there's another day for you to enjoy everything,.
make everyday precious as if it's your last day.. ;)

sayonara!